“How can I create more joy and less extreme anxiety into my everyday life?” shaking with anxiety asking in front of an online room of hundreds of other students.

The coach responded, “focus on the smallest, tiniest moments of delight you can find throughout your day. Like the sunshine shining in your window in just the most beautiful way or noticing a song bird beautifully singing their heart out outside your window.”

Took a deep breath, nodded my head and said thank you, as the coach went on to answer the next students question.

“For the first time, I can finally say I love myself.” I wrote in my journal on my 29th birthday, while enjoying my favorite spiced chai (not too sweet w/ oat milk) at my favorite coffee shop, after treating myself to a birthday yoga class and day off.

This was a transformative moment of awareness for myself, because for a decade, through my teens and twenties, I was in a very different understanding of who I was in the world and how i felt about myself.

Feeling trapped by depression and the self deprecating thoughts in my head.

Beating myself down day after day.

On autopilot.

This reporter had just arrived at my property to take a photo of me for winning best yoga instructor in Columbia Falls.

On the phone, he had asked to come to my yoga studio to take the photo. I explained I didn't have a studio and that I work from home.

When he got there, he looked around admiring the view, as I explained to him that actually I work from home as a mindset and life coach, working online with women from around the world.

What am I waiting for? I have wanted to do this for 10 years! Today is the day I am committing to myself, my growth, my dreams and punching self doubt in the f***ing teeth!

And remember today and every single day you are a badass! The fact that you have decided to intentionally live your life the way you want through building, growing, running a business or businesses so that you can live life on your terms, creating freedom, flow, alignment, impact, joy, abundance, and balance makes you 100% every time a winner!!! 

Man, my inner critic can be a bitch sometimes!

I can be going along doing my thing and then all of a sudden something goes awry, and my inner critic starts piping up, like on the side of my shoulder almost, she just starts spouting off this BS!

“Well, what if they judge you? What if you're not good enough? What if?! What if?! What if?!”

All this nonsense bullshit that is not even happening in the moment!

In my backyard, I have power lines running across and above the yard.

Every day, squirrels run across the power lines to get from trees on one side of our yard to the other.

And my dogs love it!

If you knew 100% that in one year from now you would have everything you desire, all you have to do is follow your road map. Would you do the work to learn to read the map?

Today is the day you get to choose, if you are going to learn to read your map, or stick to trying to find your way based on an old buddy's crummy directions.

In a clubhouse room the other day, a woman who went from extreme poverty growing up to owning multiple 7 figure businesses, was explaining how unfulfilled and unhappy she felt in her life, in her relationships, and in her businesses.

Moral of the story is, create joy, fulfillment, alignment, self love and self compassion now!

We can either choose to embrace it and dance in the snow, and enjoy the fact that the seasons change and we get to grow and change with the seasons, or we can be upset and angry and agitated and waste our breath and time and energy on complaining and whining about the change that is inevitable.

 Looking at the patterns from when I first started my journey on myspace up until today, I have always been worried in one way or another about how people are going to judge me, what they would think about me, what they would say to me.  

As I wrote out my history with social media and then gave it a little time and space to sink in, I realized, all along I was really just judging myself. 

If you plant your seeds today, you will be able to harvest soon. Yesterday I spent all day in my garden and kitchen. Harvesting veggies and turning them into tasty soup. But this didn't happen, all in one day.

It’s good to be good. Allow yourself to feel good, allow yourself to enjoy the good emotions.Don't allow yourself to feel guilt or shame for feeling good in your life.