From Self Loathing to Self Love

Always been a hippie child, like straight up had a hippie birthday party when I turned eight.

The idea of peace, love, a beautiful world of abundance, acceptance and support has always been a deep rooted desire in my heart as long as I can remember.

Over the years and experience of life, the light and belief in me that this world would be possible dimmed throughout life's experiences.

Shame, guilt, feeling not good enough, fears of judgment and isolation held me hostage in self loathing and kicking my own ass constantly with the thoughts in my head.

Remember having a hot mess, drunk girl cry on my then boyfriend now husband, bed late at night sharing with him that I had been on antidepressants for years.

Feeling worthless and shameful for hating myself.

Realized I was sick of hating myself, so I made a decision that I was going to work towards figuring out who the fuck I was.

Had gotten so far from my true self. I didn't even know who I was.

The pressure of feeling like I needed to know WHO I was, felt crippling, until one day I had an epiphany that gave me an immediate release of so much weight.
Felt light clean, like I was washed over by a cleansing water when I realized… I didn't have to find myself but that instead I could create myself.

Could create a better relationship with myself.

Could create empowering thoughts and questions to ask and tell myself.

Could create a healthier relationship with food. 

Could create a healthier relationship with my body.

Could start moving towards what I desired, rather than away from what I didn't want.

Moving towards feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Moving towards liking the person I am.

Moving towards creating a life that lights me up. 

Moving towards adventure.

Moving towards growth.

Moving towards expansion.

Moving in the direction that I wanted to go.

Creating the life that I wanted to be living.

And with intention, patience, consistent action, have grown from self loathing, to tolerating, to appreciating, to liking, to loving myself.

Like the person I am today.

Like what I do.

Like what I'm creating.

Today I'm so grateful for the hot mess 20 y/o Kelsey, sobbing on the bed, who decided in that moment, she didn't want to live her whole life that way.

Did it happen overnight? Absolutely fucking not.

AND I'm so grateful for the journey. The lessons, the growth, expansion, the love, the peace, the abundance, the connection and support I've received along the way.

It doesn't matter if you feel like you have a long way to go.

We get to meet ourselves where we are at today, and go from there. 

We get to be intentional about creating a healthy, loving relationship with in ourselves.

Because when we can create love, peace, compassion and support within ourselves…

It is reflected out into the world around us. 

The more people that do this, the bigger the ripple becomes. 

If we want more peace, love, support and connection in the world, it gets to start with us first.

So my question to you today is how can you love yourself a little bit more today?

How can you love yourself a little bit more today, so that you can live your dreams, your desires, your light and create impact in this world while you are here.

Remember, you are worthy, you are deserving, you are capable.

You are lovable and your dreams matter in this world.

In love, light and so much gratitude.

Peace,

Kelsey